TBL Update - Facing Failure

I haven't given a BL update in ages, because, sadly, I've fallen off the BL wagon and I've gained all 19lbs back, plus 3. So, today, I find myself VERY disappointed, and facing failure head-on. I've been to the store tonight to load my refrig and cupboards with success. I've been writing down, all week, every PATHETIC thing that's gone into my mouth and adding up the points via WW system - OH.MY.GOD. It's a wonder I can get any pants on at all. Today, armed with determination to NOT rack up the huge double diget points, I've started fresh. New. Over. Again.

Local grocery store has a huge-a-mungo sale every July. I wandered in there, thinking I might not buy a thing and end up at the ole trusty stand by Wally's. This store is the most expensive in town, by far and the owner HATES Wally's. HATES x millions HATES. But, I found WW's dinners for -get this - $1.94 each. ALL OF THEM. I was shocked and thrilled and thought seriously about a cartwheel down their frozen isle! I even laughed when I thought about that not ending up too well and not only hitting the floor, but bouncing too. I loaded my cart up with 20 of those WW babies. I know I can't live on them, but when I fail to plan, I have plan B. I also bought several boneless skinless chix breasts, which I'm fixing to toss some on the grill right now and have them ready to go. For the plain ole WW meals like beans and rice, I can toss in some chix or have some with the ole mac'n'cheese. I bought veggies - peas and green beans and can make a meal out of them and some chix also.

I've loaded up on the water today. I'm sure I'll spend the night keeping the trail hot between bed and the bathroom. Maybe I should just bunk in the tub? Then every time I get up, I can change the laundry too.

I really beat myself up today over my yet-again failure but good friend Lois has been my partner in this from the beginning and she's come to the rescue by cheering me back up along side the wagon again. I'm still running along side and hope to jump on soon... She's finally lost enough to be under the 200lb mark by 3lbs. While I'm thrilled for her, I'm really REALLY upset with myself. I don't want to be the fat bride.

HD has been home since Saturday and worked like a damn dog. The new garage is sided and done, all but a couple pieces. The picking up and cleaning up in that part of the yard has been done too. He's way better to me than I will ever deserve. He left for MPLS today on the little black hot-rod, the 2-wheeled one. Unfortunately, it rained on him for the first 5 hours or so of his trip. He won't be back until Monday then off he goes in the big rig again on Tuesday. Hopefully he'll be home again on Friday, maybe Saturday.

Saturday will be sons 22nd birthday. Already. And the next week will be son & dil's 1st wedding anniversary. HOLY COW. I can't believe I haven't killed them yet! :) Notice I didn't say I hadn't thought about it.

HD and I have talked at length, usually with him bringing it up, about just taking a 3-4 day cruise and getting married on the boat by the captain. Then coming home and taking off for a week. Going anywhere and everywhere - wherever the road takes us. Then, after that, have a reception/bbq thingy here at chaos-central. I just think that sounds so good. He's not pressuring me one little bit, but he's definately as excited about our new life as I am. I'm on lucky chick. Ok, on lucky FAT chick, but still lucky.

Oh yeah, and as far as todays points go, I have 5 left. I think I'll have a 2 pt snack before bed or I'll be wanting to knaw the doors off the refrig in the morning. That would mean that I'd grab something foolish and put that in my ever-gaping mouth which will of course, go right to these hula-hoopin' hippo hips of mine. The belly's big enough now it'll just slide right on by to the ole hips.

Other than all that boo-hooing I just did, that's about all I know. I miss HD and won't sleep for crap with him gone.

Have a good one ladies.

grizmom at

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